Building Self Confidence Blog
27Nov/150

Anger Management for Building Confidence: Confidence Tip 140

Life Coaching and Confidence CoachingIt seems like emojis are taking over our lives.More and more I’m reading emails, text messages, Facebook posts with strategically placed emojis…smiley faces usually.Heck, people are even WEARING emojis. I’ve seen countless t-shirts, pyjamas and even pants with those yellow smiley faces on in the shops.

Perhaps just the sight of a happy emoji can lift our mood? 

We’re all using these iOS and Android icons to express ourselves. The “crying with laughter” emoji has even been named – by Oxford Dictionaries – as Word of the Year.

If you want to see a picture of it, click the link below.

www.dailymail.co.uk

It was, apparently, the most widely used emoji in the world this year, accounting for 20% of all emoji use. That’s a lot of crying with laughter – maybe we live in a happier and more resilient world than we realise.

But, this use of emojis got me thinking. Whereas as an emoji is great for expressing a positive emotion, what about negative ones like anger? 

Seems to me like we need more communication units to express anger. And…more tools if we want to manage our anger well.

Many people lack the confidence to express their anger for fear of making things worse. They sometimes bottle it up until they can’t keep their anger in any longer and their anger comes out explosively...often at an innocent person! That often results in just the sort of negative consequences they feared. This experience confirms their belief that it’s not wise to express anger.

So, how can we manage and express our anger constructively? Here are 7 top tips:

  1. Check whether the person you really need to be angry with is yourself – and then deal with your part in an issue. For instance:
    1. Is the reason your team member didn’t do the task well because you gave unclear instructions or an unachievable goal?
    2. Do you get lumbered with lots to do because you haven’t learned to say ‘No’ assertively?
    3. Is one of the reasons that friend is always late because you’ve never said that being on time is important to you?
  2. Deal with issues you feel angry about sooner rather than later…while you’re still rational. :)
  3. If you’ve got into a very angry state, take time out. Take a step back, get new perspectives and plan what you’re going to say.
  4. Take useful action instead of exploding with anger or bottling up your anger. Negative emotions are there to prompt you to do something constructive. For instance:
    1. If you’re angry about an unfair decision at work, find out more about why the decision has been made and if you can still influence a win-win.
    2. Instead of shouting at the TV at politicians or social injustice, get involved in politics, charity work or…?
    3. If you feel angry about something your partner said or did, find out more about why they did it…sometimes there’s a positive intention behind their unskilled behaviour.
    4. Be willing to explore the truth behind any negative feedback or criticism. What’s useful about that feedback? How can you get the person giving it to also give you a balanced perspective?
  5. Nobody can make you feel anything…even if it seems like they can. So, avoid saying, ‘You make me feel angry!’ Instead you could say something like, ‘When you do ….I feel angry…
  6. Organise your life so that you have time to deal with difficult issues calmly.
  7. Talk to a life coach to help you deal assertively with life’s challenges
What’s your next step towards managing negative emotions and having a more assertive reaction to challenges in your personal, business and career lives ?Discover some more choices below.

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

 

Warm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

 Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015-2016?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling re-energised, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk 

Quotes of the Week

  • “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you're doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” Joel Osteen
  • “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” Buddha

“It takes 46 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile.”

Useful Links

Time Manage Tips for Building Confidence: Confidence Tip 139
Free Life Wheel to help you get clear about your challenges and goals

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

18Nov/150

Time Manage Tips for Building Confidence: Confidence Tip 139

Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching

Time Management Tips That Will Give You a Super-Productive Week

What was the first thing you did this morning?

It’s a simple question, but one that can – apparently – be a deciding factor in just how successful you are.

This morning for example, I bounded out of bed, meditated for a short while before hitting the gym where I simultaneously checked my emails, read the news and made a plan for where I want to be in the next 5 years.

All before breakfast.

….I joke, of course.

The first thing I did this morning was have a cold shower because my central heating boiler has just packed up…after long a dutiful service I have to say.

Apparently though, if you want to be at the top of your game there are 14 things you should do every morning before breakfast. According to the World Economic Forum, successful people…:
1.        Wake up early
2.        Drink water
3.        Exercise before it falls off the to-do list
4.        Work on a top-priority business project
5.        Work on a personal-passion project
6.        Spend quality time with family
7.        Connect with their spouses
8.        Make their beds
9.        Network over coffee
10.     Meditate to clear their minds
11.     Write down things they’re grateful for
12.     Plan and strategise while they’re fresh
13.     Check their email
14.     Read the news
All before breakfast. You can read their reasons for these activities here:

www.agenda.weforum.org

Now while I think this list is excessive – seriously, you’d have to be up at o’dark thirty to accomplish all of that before breakfast – it’s certainly interesting to think about the habits of the super successful.

I’m sure you’ll find some of the points on this list to be genuinely useful when you want to be successful. Working on a top-priority career/business project, making sure that you move your personal projects forward, connecting in a loving way with your family before you go to work…are great habits of the super successful.

What do you need to do every day in order to grow your business or develop your career or develop yourself personally, so that you can lead the life you truly want?

For me, I find that having the discipline to focus on getting done the one main thing that will move my business forward, every day, really helps me to grow and develop both personally and professionally. Instead of getting distracted by the little things and feeling irritated with myself at the end of the day…that focus gives me a real sense of accomplishment and allows me to happily ‘clock off’ at the end of my working day. So I’m taking the time this week to make sure I do that every day.

What habits can you start that will help to make you super successful in your business, career or personal life?

Have a great week!

What’s your next step to re-energise your personal, business and career lives ?

Discover some more choices below.

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes, Madeleine

 P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

 Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

 Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015-2016?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 3 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling re-energised, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk 
Useful Links

Motivation and Stress Management Tips from James Bond: Confidence Tip 138

Free Life Wheel to help you get clear about your challenges and goals

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

Madeleine Morgan, Life Coach, Leadership Coach and Business Coach

The Coaching Room, Chesterfield Road, Cambridge CB4 1LN

 

 

 

6Nov/150

Motivation and Stress Management Tips from James Bond: Confidence Tip 138

Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching

What We Can Learn about Motivation and Stress Management from James Bond

With the release of Spectre recently, I was inspired to listen to an audio of the James Bond spy thriller, Casino Royale, last week. I was surprised to hear a great bit of personal development advice about motivation and stress management.

I hasten to add that I wasn’t seeking personal development gems from James Bond at the time. I enjoy thrillers and I was actually curious to see if there were any interesting differences between the books and the films.

So… what did James Bond say?

It was actually Ian Fleming who wrote, “James suddenly knew he was tired. He always acted on this knowledge. It helped him to avoid staleness and the sensual bluntness that led to mistakes.”

Acting on that realisation, James Bond walked away from a high stakes card game and went to rest.

Not quite the action I expected of a high octane spy but definitely wise.

It’s very tempting to spend our energy to the max…and beyond, isn’t it?

But…how many times have you wished that you’d ‘slept on’ or rested before, for example:
•        Making a difficult or expensive decision
•        Taking action to resolve a personal or work dispute
•        Preparing and presenting a work presentation
•        Taking the next step in a high stakes project
•        Turning up for an interview

Adrenalin can be a great energiser and catalyst for creativity but tiredness and stress can cancel that out and leave us feeling burnt out and with tunnel vision and regrets.

Here are 5 ways you can refresh your energy, your creativity and your wisdom, and beat stress, overwhelm and lack of motivation:

1. The common-sense one is to get enough sleep. But…they do say ‘success is the uncommon application of common-sense’. According to some sources, that means 8 hours sleep starting at 10.00 p.m. Why10 p.m.? Because, from that time our body uses energy to repair our cells. If we use that energy for working or playing late, our bodies find it difficult do their repair work. So, if you’ve ever experienced a rush of energy after 10.00 p.m., remember that you’re probably stealing that energy from your health and vitality.

2. Take a break. A few months ago a client told me that it was taking a holiday that had helped her get back to being the confident, fun-loving, adventurous and creative person she enjoyed being. It reminded her of how she used to be. She said that she had come to coaching to help her make sure she kept that version of herself in her daily life.

3. Take a step back from all the draining emotions, time pressure, people pressure and overwork that make your life the hectic experience that it is. Get off the hamster wheel and spend some time each week reflecting ‘on’ your life rather than working ‘in’ it to make sure you are creating the life you really want. What’s your favourite way of reflecting? Talking with a life coach, meditating, going for a long walk or…? “STOP, PAUSE and THINK” as Tim Gale says.

4. Make sure that every day you’re doing something important and not urgent that makes your life better in the long run. You could call these kinds of tasks ‘progress’ tasks. These contrast with the important and urgent fire-fighting and ‘maintenance’ tasks that often fill our day and that keep us on the treadmill of life. For example, in your business, a progress task might be simplifying a process so that it’s easier and takes less time in future. In your career it might be keeping your CV up-to-date and recording your achievements so that you’re ready to take advantage of an opportunity when it comes along.

5. Humour is often a great refresher. I chuckled at this quote recently: “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” Mitch Hedberg
Apparently one minute of anger depletes the immune system for 6 hours, while one minute of laughter benefits the immune system for 24 hours. Michael McIntyre is one of my favourite comedians. He definitely helps me to see the funny side of life.

What’s your next step to re-energise your personal, business and career lives?

Discover some more choices below.

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015-2016?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling re-energised, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Quotes of the Week about Motivation

  • “Never say 'no' to adventures. Always say 'yes', otherwise you'll lead a very dull life.”
    Ian Fleming

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry : How to Confidently Manage your Stress  and Overcome Anxiety and Worry:

Free Life Wheel to help you get clear about your challenges and goals

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

Madeleine Morgan, Life Coach, Leadership Coach and Business Coach

The Coaching Room, Chesterfield Road, Cambridge CB4 1LN

 

 

   
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