Building Self Confidence Blog
27Oct/150

How to Confidently Manage Your Stress and Overcome Anxiety and Worry: Confidence Tip 137

 7 Top Stress Management Steps You Can Take to Beat Worry into Submission

Life and Business Coaching for Managers** WARNING – The following news may send shivers up your spine, give you Goosebumps and strike fear into your heart. Whatever you do, try not to scream **

With just over a week to go until Halloween, I’ve just received some pretty frightening news:

According to an article in Metro, the UK is facing a pumpkin shortage.

If you’re planning on carving some creepy creations or warming up with an autumnal pumpkin soup, you may have missed your chance.

If you’re thinking right now, ‘If that’s the worst thing I need to worry about life is pretty good’ you’d probably be right.

What interested me is how obsessed the media is with trying to worry us about everything from the trivial to the really serious stuff worth paying attention to.

Recently I’ve heard:

  • There’s likely to be a Lego shortage at Christmas
  • The government is likely to try to ban cash and banks will charge us for saving our money so we’ll be forced to spend
  • We’re in for the worst winter in 5 years
  • We’re being overwhelmed with refugees and migrants

The list goes on and on.

And it’s not just the media…often we stress and worry each other or ourselves.

The media is only responding to what gets our attention.

The real risks to us is that we over…or under…react. For instance:

  • We put our heads in the sand and hope the dangers will all go away or,
  • We experience ‘worry fatigue’ and become blasé about it all or,
  • We live in a permanent state of stress…feeling as if we have to fire-fight our way through life
  • We have a knee-jerk reaction that makes things worse e.g.

o    We have a difficult month in business and so cut down on marketing or the help we’re getting from a business coach

o    We fear losing our job and burn out working too much over-time in the hope of impressing our employers that we’re vital to the business

  • We waste time, energy or money over-preparing for dangers that will probably never materialise
  • We become too risk-averse and miss out on opportunities
  • Like a drowning person we reject the life belt on offer

I love this quote: “Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball.”Mitzi Chandler.

But, it isn’t quite true. Worry is just the start of risk analysis and it only becomes useless if it doesn’t lead to proper risk management.

So, how can we keep a level head in the face of all the pressure to worry coming from the media, other people and ourselves? Here are 7 steps:

  1. When you’re worried about something, spend a few moments to taking deep, relaxed breaths to help you calm down
  2. Then ask yourself this curious question: ‘What do I want to happen instead of the thing I’m worried about?’
  3. Answer the question!
  4. When you’re clear about what you want, ask yourself, ‘How can I make what I want to happen…happen?’
  5. Brainstorm some options
  6. Take useful action
  7. Celebrate your results!

Why does this work? Because your brain is like a travel agent. It can’t help you when you’re focussing on what you don’t want. You have to tell it what you do want before it can tap into all your problem solving powers. In just the same way that if you said to a travel agent, ‘I don’t want to go to Cambridge’, the travel agent would have to ask you where you do want to go in order to be able to help you.

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

Discover some more choices below.

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

Warm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015-2016?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Quotes of the Week about Stress and Worry

  • “Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles M Schulz
  • “There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry... Yesterday and Tomorrow.” Robert Jones Burdette
  • "Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.” W. R. Inge
  • “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” Leo F. Buscaglia
  • “People get so in the habit of worry that if you save them from drowning and put them on a bank to dry in the sun with hot chocolate and muffins they wonder whether they are catching cold.” John Jay Chapman
  • “If you ask, ‘What is the single most important key to longevity?’ I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.” George F. Burns

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Confidently Stand Out from the Crowd : Confidence Tip 136

Free Life Wheel to help you get clear about your challenges and goals

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

Madeleine Morgan, Life Coach, Leadership Coach and Business Coach

The Coaching Room, Chesterfield Road, Cambridge CB4 1LN

21Oct/150

How to Confidently Stand Out from the Crowd: Confidence Tip 136

Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching

How to Confidently and Profitably Stand Out from the Crowd in Your Business or Career

If you’re struggling to get clients for your business or your career has stalled, this week’s success tip about standing out from the crowd will be useful to you.

These days it’s not enough to be good at what you do, if you want to your success to last, though it can certainly help.

What makes me say that? I’ve met plenty of competent people out there who are grinding their teeth because less competent people have been promoted above them or have more successful businesses. Maybe you’re one of them?

On Wednesday (7th October), supermarket giant Tesco made a cry for (Every Little) help, after revealing a 55% plunge in profits.Tesco’s half year profits dropped to £354million compared to £779million in the same period last year.

Britain’s “Big Four” supermarkets have been hit hard by the rising popularity of the discount stores like Aldi and Lidl in recent years.

 And this got me thinking. Is there more that Tesco – and any other business in fact – can do to make themselves stand out from their competition in ways that are important to customers?

Okay, so they’re losing out on a price war; but could they add something else into the mix to make their customers loyal. After all, iPhones are by no means the cheapest in the market but, for millions of people, iPhones are THE must-have smart phones. There’s plenty about those iPhones that make them stand out from the crowd.

What will be interesting to watch is how Tesco attempt to bounce back from this blow.

There will definitely be some lessons about career and business success, from their journey, that we can all learn from.

“Today we’re living in an anti-Waldo world, where you don’t want to blend in and have people struggle to find you. You want your personal brand to stand out like you’re wearing a red and white sweater, and everyone else has on black.” Jarod Kintz

In the meantime here are 3 top tips to help you stand out from the crowd in competitive business and career situations. Implement them and you’ll raise your visibility, get increased credibility and open up more opportunities:

  1. When someone asks, ‘What do you do?’ have something different, motivating, interesting, intriguing or powerful to say. When people ask me what I do, I don’t say that I’m a life and business coach straightaway, I sometimes say, ‘I help people overcome life’s work and personal challenges confidently and skilfully so they can achieve their personal, career or business goals.’ If I’m feeling a bit more inspirational, I might say, ‘I’m a life transformer!’ That gets some interesting conversations going. What could you say? For instance:
  2. Are you just an IT support engineer or, ‘part of the 4th emergency service’?
  3. Are you a just a recruitment consultant or a person who, ‘can help businesses grow by helping managers choose the right staff’?
  4. Are you just a security expert or are you a person who knows how to, ‘annoy burglars’?
  5. Are you just a project manager or are you ‘an expert at getting projects completed on time and on budget, more easily’?
  6. ?
  7. Do extra things that add value to your business, your colleagues or your clients, and that mark you, or your business, out as especially valuable.
  8. For instance, if you’re in a customer facing role you probably discover information that would be useful your employer’s marketing or product development departments. So, pass it on.
  9. If you’re business is a trade, such as a builder, plumber or landscape gardener, send your customers useful texts with seasonal advice such as precautions to take when the weather turns frosty.
  10. ?
  11. Tell people the value you can add or have added.
  12. Make sure your business marketing gives more information about the benefits to your clients of your product or service than it gives space to your company logo.
  13. Your career CV needs to be more than a catalogue of roles and tasks. It needs to be about the things you’ve achieved for your employer and the value you’ve added.
  14. Raise your profile through public speaking, your Linkedin profile, making useful contributions at meetings and getting your knowledge into print, for instance.

 What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

Discover some more choices below.

‘Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

Warm wishes, Madeleine

 P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

 Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

 Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit youmadeleine@growu.co.uk 

Quotes of the Week about Standing Out from the Crowd

  •  “In a competitive crowded world market, it's the well positioned brand that Stands Out!” Bernard Kelvin Clive
  • “Greatness begins to wane when you start trying to blend in rather than stand out.” Constance Chuks Friday
  • "Because everyone is doing it doesn't make it right and because you stand out doesn't make it wrong. Just find a path that you can defend.” Temi Sholeye
  • “All people are standing; you got to standout! …Don't settle for less; rise up and stand tall in what you do!” Israelmore Ayivor
  • “Take a chance to standout. You can only have your head above water if you stick your neck out a bit. It's time to take off... Dare to rise!”.” Israelmore Ayivor

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Give Confident Feedback : Confidence Tip 135
Free Confidence ecourse
Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck
Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits
7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

Filed under: Career No Comments
7Oct/150

How to Give Confident Feedback: Confidence Tip 135

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKTop Tips About Giving Feedback: What We Can Learn from Strictly Come Dancing

Yes, one of my guilty pleasures is watching Strictly Come Dancing. I just love the way the celebs have the courage to put themselves back in the place of being amateurs. They accept the adventure of overcoming their nerves, stepping out of their comfort zone and surprising themselves with what they can achieve.

And yes, there are probably more worthy activities they could devote their energies to but anyway…it wasn’t so much the celebs this week that caught my attention but the judges and their feedback styles.

It got me thinking. Most days we’re invited, or compelled, to give our feedback to someone about something, such as:

  • A colleague’s presentation
  • A team member’s contribution at work
  • A friend’s DIY efforts
  • A partner’s outfit for the evening
  • Or…?

They say that feedback is the breakfast of champions so it’s important to get it right. Human beings are prone to see and express what’s wrong with something rather than what’s right and we can unwittingly destroy people’s confidence and demotivate them with clumsy feedback.

Watching the judges on Strictly Come Dancing giving their feedback triggered me to ponder what we can learn from their very different styles. I was particularly interested in why the audience accepted the critical feedback of some judges and not others.

Craig Revel Horwood is the hardest to impress. He’s like a Victorian parent with his stern expressions and endless list of the mistakes he sees. He rarely gives credit for effort and judges the contestants as if they are professionals, from the beginning. Even when he praises someone, his marks are often miserly.

Yes, he’s the pantomime villain, there to heighten the drama and create a sense of the contestants being thrown into the lion’s den. He’s also the judge whose feedback the contestants are most afraid of and the one they most want to please. But… is his feedback style effective in helping the contestants improve or is it, to quote one of his favourite phrases, ‘a disaster, darling’?

The audience disagrees with his negative feedback most of the time and their boos express their feelings that he is unnecessarily harsh. The professionals training the celebs often express the same feeling as they see the fragile confidence of some of their mentees wither away. They know they’ll have to spend a lot of time in the coming week building their mentees’ confidence up again rather than having more time to focus on technique. The very competitive contestants who have a lot of self-belief rise to the challenge. The ones who still haven’t processed their ‘parent issues’ – the people still trying to please the unpleasable – are often reduced to tears, have more of a struggle than they need to and don’t fulfil their potential.

So, not a great all round feedback style to model in ‘real’ life.

Then there’s Bruno Tonioli. When someone dances badly he often feeds back through an exaggerated, comical and sometimes spiteful caricature of their style. By doing so, he runs the risk of unwittingly installing in their brains a very vivid picture of what they shouldn’t do that makes it harder for them to overcome their mistakes. When they do well, his feedback is a pantomime of dramatically overblown words and gestures that is more about getting a laugh from the audience than giving useful feedback. It’s all about him, not the contestant’s development.

Len Goodman, the head judge, is more conventional and moderate in his feedback and the marks that he gives. He does give credit for effort and makes allowances, in the early episodes, for the fact that the contestants are amateurs. He gradually expects more of the contestants in the later episodes of the competition. By gradually raising the bar he gives the contestants achievable goals.

Lastly there’s Darcy Bussell. Everyone accepts her feedback even when she is being critical. How does she achieve that?

  • She generously rewards effort and makes allowances for the fact that the contestants are amateurs.
  • She is more open to artistic creativity and experimentation than Len and so it’s more fun for the professionals and they have freedom to adapt routines to the personalities of their mentees.
  • She’s is specific about what she likes about a performance. That makes her feedback credible even to the most doubting of contestants. So she helps the contestants build their confidence and develop their potential.
  • Her feedback is balanced and helpful.
  • She is the best of the judges at explaining how to correct a fault and she usually chooses just one technique for the contestant to focus on so that they don’t get overwhelmed. When she talks about the fault she expresses herself more like a coach than a critic. So she supports the work of the professional trainers.
  • She has a sense of humour that is more directed at herself than at the contestants.

So, there are many pointers in Darcy’s style we can model in our personal, career and business lives that will help us get the best out of our team members, our family members, our colleagues etc.

And…when you’re seeking feedback from others…make sure you choose the skilled people who know how to help you develop your potential.

What feedback techniques have you found get the best out of others?

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

 Discover some more choices below.

‘Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 3 Free Coaching Discovery to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Quotes of the Week about Feedback

  • “We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve.” Bill Gates
  • “I think it's very important to have a feedback loop, where you're constantly thinking about what you've done and how you could be doing it better.“ Elon Musk
  • “You make decisions, take actions, affect the world, receive feedback from the world, incorporate it into yourself, then the updated 'you' makes more decisions, and so forth, 'round and 'round.” Douglas Hofstadter
  • “There is a huge value in learning with instant feedback.” Anant Agarwal
  • "Leaders cannot work in a vacuum. They may take on larger, seemingly more important roles in an organization, but this does not exclude them from asking for and using feedback. In fact, a leader arguably needs feedback more so than anyone else. It's what helps a leader respond appropriately to events in pursuit of successful outcomes.” Jack Canfield
  •  “In business, the market gives you feedback in real time. Your sales figures tell you what's working, what isn't, and how you need to change. If you don't listen to the feedback, you go belly up.” Jeff Raikes
  • “Don't solicit feedback on your product, idea or your business just for validation purposes. You want to tell the people who can help move your idea forward, but if you're just looking to your friend, co-worker, husband or wife for validation, be careful. It can stop a lot of multimillion-dollar ideas in their tracks in the beginning.” Sara Blakel.

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Succeed Against All the Odds: Succes for Manager's Tip 134

Free Confidence ecourse

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

   
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