Building Self Confidence Blog
29Sep/150

How to Succeed Against All the Odds: Confidence Tip 134

Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching

How to Succeed Against All the Odds and Avoid Failure

Do you ever look at the “big boys” in your industry or successful colleague at work and feel like their success is out of your reach?

A recent sporting event got me thinking about how to gain success against all the odds and inspired this week’s tip.

The 2015 Rugby World Cup kicked off last month to a win on home soil for the hosts, England.

But it wasn’t the opening match against Fiji that got everyone’s attention.

Japan, who haven’t won a World Cup match for over 24 years, pulled off the biggest shock in Rugby World Cup history by beating 2007 champions, South Africa. The 34-32 score-line shows just how close – and hard fought – this match was.

What fascinated me was the life, career and business lessons you can learn from the Japanese team. And trust me, there’s definitely a lot you can learn from them.

So What Success Lessons Can We Learn from the Japanese Team?

  • They committed themselves to achieving an exciting and challenging goal they really cared about.
  • Even though they were the underdogs, Japan headed into Saturday’s game fully prepared. They upped their game, and proved that with the right planning and preparation they were a match for any team.
  • It would have been easy for Japan to admit defeat before the match, and go in with a totally different mind-set. And if they had? Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be writing about them today. But because they got their heads in the right place, and truly believed that they had a chance of winning, they did. They headed out onto the pitch with their heads held high. No one expected them to win. The pressure was off. As a team, they had nothing to lose.
  • They’d worked hard in training and studied their competition. They didn’t waste time on negative comparisons between themselves and other teams. Instead, they modelled the success strategies of other teams.
  • They also got superb coaching and training so that they could learn the short cuts to success. They had great coaches who believed in them.

"I never cease to be amazed at the power of the coaching process to draw out the skills or talent that was previously hidden within an individual, and which invariably finds a way to solve a problem previously thought unsolvable." John Russell

They made Rugby World Cup history and won their first game at the tournament for a quarter of a century.

What can you do this week, this month or this year that will see you get your head right and totally change the pace of play for your business or your career?

The “big boys” in your industry and your workplace were once where you are now. What could you do to get your head in the game, and go out there and play the match of your life?

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

Discover some more choices below.

‘Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 4 Free Coaching Discovery to give away this October

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss what’s important to you, where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk 

Quotes of the Week about Success Against the Odds

  • “When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favour.” Elon Musk
  • “Growing up in a group home, and with an undiagnosed learning disability to boot, the odds of success were not on my side. But when I joined the high school football team, I learned the value of discipline, focus, persistence, and teamwork - all skills that have proven vital to my career as a C.E.O. and social entrepreneur.“ Darell Hammond
  • “Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them.” Robert Jarvik
  • “Each person holds so much power within themselves that needs to be let out. Sometimes they just need a little nudge, a little direction, a little support, a little coaching, and the greatest things can happen.” Pete Carroll
  • "I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities." Bob Nardelli, former CEO, Home Depot
  •  “….many companies….offer coaching as a prerequisite to proven managers, in the understanding that everyone can benefit from a detached observer.” Harvard Business Review

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Stop Irritating Behaviour Irritating You: Success for managers Tips 133

Free Confidence ecourse

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

22Sep/150

How to Stop Irritating Behaviour Irritating You: Confidence Tip 133

Life Coaching and Confidence Coaching

How to Stop Annoying People and Irritating Behaviour Irritating You

Have you ever been frustrated by irritating behaviour and people? For instance:

  • People, or companies, not doing what they promised?
  • People turning up late, consistently
  • People being unfair
  • Selfish behaviour
  • People apologising but not changing their behaviour

Those are a few of my pet peeves. What are yours?

Have you ever wished you had a cool way to stop that irritating behaviour in its tracks?

I like this approach…

A mother from Norwich penned a hilarious note asking people to avoid knocking on her door and waking her new-born twins. This was after Natasha Butler’s small “No Salesmen etc.” sign was being ignored, so she thought she’d go one better in a bid to keep her sleeping beauties…well, sleeping.

The note, posted to the Unmumsy Mum’s Facebook page reads:

“Twin boys asleep.

Only knock on this door if:

a)     You’re Gary Barlow

b)     I’ve won on the premium bonds

c)     Someone has died

Thanks x”

Isn’t it great how Natasha took a problem into her own hands, and solved it with wit and humour?

Instead of getting stressed out about something or someone else – especially when it’s out of our control – how about taking a deep breath, and rethinking the situation?

It beats complaining to the world about it and…it feels very empowering when we take reasonable and effective action to make our world a better place.

By the way, who would you like to come knocking at your door? J

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

Discover some more choices below.

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

Warm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

 I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Quotes of the Week about Humour in Work and Personal Relationships

  • “Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humour and a good approach to life, that's beautiful.” Rashida Jones
  • “A person without a sense of humour is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.” Henry Ward Beecher
  • “In the household in which I was raised, the themes were pretty simple, 'Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humour.’” Michael Keaton
  • “Basically, I think you need two things to get by in this world: a sense of humour and the ability to laugh when your ego is destroyed.” Ario Guthrie
  • “Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humour. It's like medicine - very healing.” Max Irons
  • “Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing.” Clive James

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Stop Small Issues Becoming Big Arguments: Confidence Tip 132

Free Confidence ecourse

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

Filed under: Relationships No Comments
16Sep/150

How to Stop Small Issues Becoming Big Arguments: Confidence Tip 132

7 Top Tips to Build Great Work and Personal Relationships and Prevent Small Issues Becoming Big Arguments

building-self-confidence-icon-2-220x3002A BBC Radio 4 programme I tune into sometimes presents fascinating snippets of conversations between people. These conversations often provide thought provoking, moving or funny insights into our personal and working relationships.

One conversation I heard recently inspired the tips in this week’s message to you. It reminded me of how small issues can turn into big arguments or simmering resentment.

It involved a mother and her twenty-something daughter. The mother was saying that the only thing that really irritated her, on a regular basis, about her daughter was that her daughter didn’t do her bra straps up before she put her bras in the laundry basket.

The daughter laughed on hearing this and gave the impression that she thought this was a silly thing to get hung up on when the rest of their relationship was so good.

Why was this a big issue for the mother? Because the hooks in her daughter’s bra straps snagged the lace in other delicate clothing, when they were in the washing machine, and ruined them…and her daughter just couldn’t see that.

This conversation reminded me of an argument I heard in a work place. A male colleague was really furious with a female colleague because she kept leaving the knives and forks blade and prong end up in the drainage container in the staff kitchen.

The female colleague complained that the male colleague couldn’t understand that it was an easy thing to forget to do. She felt his reaction was completely over the top.

He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t do something that would prevent others getting stabbed by the knives and forks every time they absent-mindedly reached for some cutlery.

Why is it important to do something constructive about these seemingly small but difficult issues?
I’ll bet you can think of many apparently trivial issues that have sparked off similar arguments. Maybe you’ve also noticed these issues, if unresolved, can scratch away at the good will, trust and good feelings in a work or personal relationship. These issues can build on one another until the relationship collapses under the weight of them.

Those strong reactions to seemingly trivial issues can also be the tip of the iceberg or a warning sign. A sign that there may be a bigger issue that it’s difficult to talk about, that’s hidden by these easier to talk about ones.

Why do such seemingly ‘small’ and ‘trivial’ things provoke such strong negative reactions and angry feelings in personal and working relationships? 

Often it’s because of the often unexpressed and negative meanings the person doing the requesting and complaining puts on the fact that the other person doesn’t comply. For instance:

  • “They don’t care about me.”
  • “They don’t respect me.”
  • “They’re doing it to irritate me.”
  • “They won’t even do a simple thing like… to help me…”
  • “They’re inconsiderate.”
  • Etc.

This is sometimes made worse by the defensive or dismissive reaction of the person being complained about, especially if they don’t apologise or accept responsibility or do anything to stop it happening again. For example:

  • “I just forgot!”
  • “You’re always nagging.”
  • “Haven’t you got more important things to worry about?”
  • “What about all the good things I’ve done?”
  • “I’ve got more important things to think about.”
  • “I didn’t mean to…”
  • Etc.

So what can we do to make sure the small stuff doesn’t become the big stuff in our work and personal relationships? Here are 7 top tips:

  1. Have an agreement about how you’re going to tackle issues in a constructive way
  2. Deal with small issues before they become big ones
  3. Give a compelling reason why you want someone to do something before you ask them to do it
  4. Avoid putting negative interpretations on people’s actions. Instead:When dealing with other people’s complaints about you, avoid dismissing people’s concerns and requests before understanding why it’s important to them. Be curious. Look for a win-win
    1. Make sure you get buy-in from someone before you assume they’ll do what you ask
    2. Find out what they mean by not doing something you expect
    3. If they’re not doing something you feel is reasonable, find out why
    4. If they say they forgot, ask them what they will do to remember
    5. Reflect on whether your emotions are really about a different issue you’re avoiding talking about. If they are, find a win-win way to broach the topic.
  5. When dealing with other people’s complaints about you, avoid dismissing people’s concerns and requests before understanding why it’s important to them. Be curious. Look for a win-win
  6. Avoid making excuses. Apologise and accept responsibility when you’re in the wrong
  7. Build trust by having a proper calm discussion about issues or requests you find unreasonable rather than just passively not complying or aggressively making the other person wrong

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career ?

Discover some more choices below

Madeleine Morgan Business Coach Cambridge
Madeleine Morgan Business Coach Cambridge

Warm wishes, Madeleine

 P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

 Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

 Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?

Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Quotes of the Week about Arguments in Work and Personal Relationships

  • “The silence is the worst part of any fight, because it's made up of all the things we wish we could say, if only we had the guts.” Pete Wentz
  • “When you feel like throwing rocks, make sure they're ones no one can throw back.” Rebecca McKinsey
  • “War, they say, is the answer of those who have no arguments left.” Andrew Ashling
  • “Being snappy is a symptom of an argument we forgot to have some way back.” Alain de Botton
  • “We run into some pretty tough arguments sometimes, but the idea is that at the end of the day, my wife and I realize that we'll always be holding each other's hand.” Kyle Chandler
  • “There are all kinds of stupid people that annoy me but what annoys me most is a lazy argument.” Christopher Hitchens
  • “Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance.” Robert Quillen
  • “The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.” Joseph Joubert

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Convince them that you can do a Great Job! Confidence Tip 131

Free Confidence ecourse

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits

7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

Filed under: Relationships No Comments
10Sep/150

How to Convince Them That YOU Can Do a Great Job: Confidence Tip 131

Life Coaching and Confidence CoachingDo you find it frustrating when you know you can do a great job but your manager, an employer or a client just doesn’t trust you and… picks someone else to do it?

Whether you’re:
Applying for a new job
Selling to a prospect in a sales meeting or
Trying to impress your manager
There are many things you can do to persuade your employer, manager or prospect that you can do a great job…an even better job than others can do.

Here are 3 ways you can convince someone that you can do a good…or even a great job.
1. Be skilled at telling them how good you are at your job:
This starts as an ‘inside job’. In other words you have to be convinced that you do a great job. This may sound obvious but I hear people down playing their part in a success, ignoring their successes and rejecting praise often. Occasionally someone will see your talent shining through all your modesty but many people will take you at face value…the value you set on yourself. Get comfortable with self-promotion.
When you’re speaking about your successes, avoid lukewarm qualifiers such as ‘quite’, ‘maybe’ and ‘sort of’. Use definite language when describing what you can do.
Make sure your confidence in yourself is expressed through your confident body language and tone of voice.
Craft your Linkedin profile, website copy and CV so that it’s obvious what a great job you can do for people. Focus on the benefits of your work to them.
Tell success stories. They say that facts tell but… stories sell!

2. Get others to tell your prospective employer, manager or prospect how good you are at your job:
Make sure that you have glowing testimonials and recommendations on your website and Linkedin profile
If you’re applying for a job, make sure your referees know about your achievements so that they can endorse you knowledgeably
If you’re looking for promotion in your organisation, keep your manager up-to-date about your successes and learning so they can put you forward for opportunities and talk about you to influencers

3. Show how good you are at your job by demonstrating your great results:
For instance, if you’re an architect show a before and after picture of the house before and after an extension project you designed
If you’re a manager, create a presentation of how the department worked before and after you made changes and the resulting benefits to the company

If you’re a web developer going for a job, show the interview panel the before and after picture of a website you transformed and the statistics for increases in visitor numbers, enquiries and length of time people spend on the site compared to before you took on the project.

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

Discover some choices below.

‘Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes,

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Events

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?
Do you have some difficult challenges to face or decisions to make?

If your answer is yes check out these this free 1-2-1 coaching opportunity.

I have 3 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:
discuss where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
uncover hidden barriers to your success.
get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy
Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.
We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.
If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Quotes of the Week about Proving You Can Do a Great Job

“I’ve said it before, and by gosh, I’ll say it again — don’t be afraid to toot your own horn.” Emlyn Chand
“Self-promotion is a leadership and political skill that is critical to master in order to navigate the realities of the workplace and position you for success.” Bonnie Marcus
“Without promotion something terrible happens – nothing!” P.T. Barnum
“I dread the promotion part of my job. It's agony, especially compared to the private, at-home joy of writing. But being a grown-up means doing every part of the larger task.” Chuck Palahniuk
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? … Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. … It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: 20 Skills Successful Managers Have
Free Confidence ecourse
Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal
Free report on 21 ways to add 100k to your profits
7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

2Sep/150

How to be Persuasive and Influential: 60 Seconds to Confidence Tip 130

Life Coaching and Confidence CoachingHave you ever felt exasperated because you’ve failed to get someone to change their behaviour? Maybe you’ve even suffered a personal, career or business loss because of it.

If so, this week’s tip about persuasion will be really valuable for you.Being skilled at persuading other people to change their thinking and their habits is vital for your personal, career or business success and happiness.Whether you want to persuade:

  • Your clients to give you more notice of something they want you to do so that you’re not staying up until midnight to finish it and annoying your family
  • Your partner to do their share of the household chores
  • Your children to keep their rooms tidy and do their homework
  • Your team to look after your clients so superbly they stay loyal to your business
  • Your manager to keep you in the loop so that you can do a better job
the ‘don’t do this, do that approach’ rarely succeeds in the short term and never in the long-term. Unless you know how to change people’s hearts and minds they slip back into their ‘default’ behaviours very easily and quickly…even when they have good intentions to change their ways.What if next time you wanted to persuade someone to change their thinking and behaviour, they took up your idea or request enthusiastically? What if you could melt away their annoying resistance? What would your personal and work relationships be like if there was less conflict and more healthy cooperation?As it happens there are just 3 easy yet vital steps to take.
So think of a person and a behaviour you want to persuade them to change. Then prepare your conversation with these 3 steps.

  1. Give persuasive reasons why change is needed
Show them how the current situation won’t get them what they want. Paint a clear picture of the problems for them that will arise if they don’t change. I’m not talking about threatening people now. One way to make this less threatening while being impactful is to ask them curious and open questions that will help them come up with the problems that will arise if they don’t change. For instance, if you don’t do a great job for that client, what incentive will they have to come back and buy more from us?’
You’ll find it’s easier when someone convinces themselves of the need for change. Open questions allow that to happen.
  1. Create a persuasive vision of all the wonderful things that will happen if they do change
Once they’re persuaded there’s a need for change, you can help them see, hear and feel all the great benefits that will happen if they do something different. For example, ‘If our clients are really happy they’ll want to buy more. The business will be able to make more profits and you’ll get a bigger bonus at the end of the year.’ Make sure that the benefits you describe are ones they value. If you want more engagement from them, you could ask them open and curious questions about what they see as the benefits of changing.
  1. Agree the first actions steps towards achieving the new benefits
Discuss options for actions they/both of you need to start or stop taking.
Be flexible about how they might want to go about achieving new results.
What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?Discover some choices below

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business a must for you in 2015?
If your answer is yes check out these this 121 coaching opportunity.

I have 4 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month.

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about the life, career or business you’d like to enjoy

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.
If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk
 
Persuasion and Influence Quotes of the Week

  • “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” Coco Chanel
  •  “The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.” Stendhal
  • “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. How do you gain influence from people? You invest in them. How do you invest in them? It starts with giving them time.” John C. Maxwell
  • Who are we, if not measured by our impact on others? That’s who we are! We’re not who we say we are, we’re not who we want to be – we are the sum of the influence and impact that we have, in our lives, on others.” Carl Sagan
  • “Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another.” George Eliot
  • “It would be difficult to exaggerate the degree to which we are influenced by those we influence.” Eric Hoffer

    Useful Links 

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

 

   
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