Building Self Confidence Blog

What to Do When You Say the Wrong Thing: 60 Seconds to Confidence Tip 124

And How to Avoid Saying the Wrong Thing in the First Place

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKTechnology is creating many more opportunities for us to ‘put our foot in it’, often very publicly and indelibly. Social media, text messaging and email to name a few give us loads of opportunities to do things we will regret.

Have you ever experienced that sinking feeling after sending an email to the wrong person; clicking on "reply all", or in the heat of the moment bashing out an angry message that you wish you could take back?

If you’re the sensitive type who really cares about your reputation and the feelings of other people, you’ve probably kicked yourself into next week or sweated and worried for ages for doing it.

The clever folks at Google’s Gmail have realised our human frailty and created the UNSEND BUTTON.

Finally, a window of opportunity to take everything back and save our red faces…and maybe even our jobs or our personal relationships or our businesses.

You'll have to be super quick though, you've only got a 30 second window…

Here's how to put your disaster-recovery-plan into action:

  • Click the gear in the top right.
  • Select Settings.
  • Scroll down to "Undo Send" and click “Enable”.
  • Set the cancellation period (the amount of time you have to decide if you want to
  • unsend an email).
  • Click Save Changes at the bottom of the page and...catastrophe averted.

I’ve got into using Facebook more frequently.

There are times when I’ve instantly shared something funny or given an opinion and then wished I’d thought more carefully about my response.

Now, I’m more likely to read the comments on a thought provoking bit of news to get different perspectives before I contribute.

It may lack spontaneity but, on the other hand, it’s not always wise to shoot from the hip at every opportunity you’re given. Technology also gives us a chance to reflect wisely before we say things.

For instance, the email draft folder is a great place to put angry or sensitive emails to give yourself time to consider the emotionally intelligent way to frame your message. It gives you time to decide whether you should send an email at all.

Maybe a face-to-face conversation would be a more effective way of sorting out the issue, with all its opportunities to prepare, ask curious questions and convey an accurate meaning though voice tone and body language.

But…what if you have put your foot in it and you can’t take it back?

What can you do to make the situation right and repair the relationship?

Here are 5 tips:

  • Take responsibility…avoid making excuses
  • Sincerely apologise
  • Work out why the mistake happened
  • Work out a strategy for avoiding the mistake in future
  • Move on – embarrassment is only there to make you learn something useful and do the right thing. Time is too precious to waste on regrets

What’s your next step to becoming more successful in your personal, business and career?

Discover some choices below.

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

Warm wishes, Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.


Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

Free Confidential Coaching Discovery Session

Is creating a more rewarding personal, career or business life a must for you in 2015?

If your answer is yes check out these this 121 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away this month

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your life, career or business and any challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
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Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making this year your best year yet.

We can meet at my coaching room in Cambridge (CB4 1LN) or over Skype or telephone.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you:

Quotes of the Week about Putting Your Foot In It

  • “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Epictitus
  • “The words had somehow managed to bypass reason on the way out of his mouth” Julie Ann Long
  • “A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.” Henry Ford
  • Every speaker has a mouth; an arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom. Sometimes it’s filled with feet.” Robert Orben
  • “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for wrong actions in the past.” Tryon Edwards

Useful Links

Link to previous week’s blog entry: How to Deal with Bullying at Work: 60 Seconds to Confidence Tip 123

Free Confidence ecourse

Free ebook – The Success Ladder: How to Succeed at Any Goal

"I've just read Madeleine's 'The Success Ladder' over the weekend. What a great easy and effective guide for any aspiring leader. It's very easy to read and most importantly the actions are very powerful which I've already started to implement. Thank you Madeleine and I look forward to sharing my success with you :-)" Adrian Peck

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7 Secrets About Personal and Business Success You Can Learn From SCUBA Diving

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