Building Self Confidence Blog
19Feb/150

Are Your Personal and Working Relationships Working? Confidence Tip 104

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKOne of our greatest human needs is to connect with others but we need to be careful who we connect to.

Who you spend your time with can significantly impact your self-esteem, your happiness and your wealth.

Most books about success and personal development will tell you that if you want to be successful, hang around with like-minded, successful people. If you want your relationships to work, choose the right people to relate to.

The quickest way to decide whether your relationships are working is to gauge how you feel when you’ve spent some time with that person.

Do you feel energised, positive, supported and encouraged when you’ve spent time with them? Do you feel that you can trust them? Does it feel like they’re interested in you and what you care about? Do you feel you’re learning and developing in a positive way by being around them?

OR do you feel drained, betrayed, lacking in self-esteem, discouraged or frustrated? Do you feel the relationship is stagnant or that you are in danger of stagnating if you stick around?

How to Tell If Your Personal and Working Relationships are Working for You and What to Do About Them

5 Steps to Help You Make Sure Your Relationships Work for You

  1. Make a list of your close friends, colleagues, family and other people you spend most of your time with.
  2. For each one, ask yourself: “How do I feel after spending time with this person?”
  3. Next, add a score next to each name from +10 to -10 to represent how positive or negative you feel after spending time with them.
  4. Consider how much time you spend with each person
  5. Make a commitment to your happiness and success
    • Find ways to spend more time with your positive relationships and make sure you nurture them. Find ways to be as inspiring, encouraging and positive with them as they are with you.
    • Look for ways to improve your negative relationships – there may be a good growth opportunity for you or more potential than you’ve been aware of. So take the lead in this. You may need to pick up a mirror rather than a magnifying glass when thinking about their faults, for instance. You may need the perspective of a neutral person, like a life coach, to help you with this.
    • If you’ve done what you can to improve the negative relationships, and it still isn't working for you, make sure that you spend as little time as possible in them.

What’s your next step to making your personal and working relationships work for you?

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

  1. Free Successful Relationships Coaching Discovery Session

Is having great working and personal relationships with the opposite sex a must for you in 2015? Are challenges in your work and personal relationships holding you back in your career, your business or your personal life and frustrating you?

If your answer is yes check out these this 121 coaching opportunity.

I have 2 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away in February.

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your working and personal relationships and the challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about how you’d like your relationships to be.

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet for personal and working relationships.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

  1. Accountability Club Business Growth Programme Launching Thursday 5th March

Are you frustrated by the slow growth of your business? Is your business experiencing growing pains? Would you like to make more money and have more fun growing your business? Then the Accountability Club Business Growth Programme could be just what your business needs…there are only 5 places left so hurry and grab the opportunity. Click here for more details

  1. The Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop 16th April 2015

It’s tough being a team leader, manager or supervisor. During this one-day Successful Managers’ Toolkit workshop, you’ll discover how to overcome the challenges and make your role much easier and rewarding to perform. www.successformanagers.co.uk or email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details.

Quotes of the Week about Relationships

  • “Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” J K Rowling “The Order of the Phoenix”
  • “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” C G Jung
  • “You can talk with someone for years, every day, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” C Joybell
  • “There are no difficult people. There are only inflexible communicators.” Presupposition of NLP

Useful Links

13Feb/150

How Men and Women Can Relate Better at Work and in Romance: Confidence Tip 103

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKAs it’s February, the month of Valentine’s Day, it has got me thinking about the relationships between men and women in romance and at work.

It’s over 20 years since John Gray created a powerful metaphor to explain why relationships between men and women at work and in romance can be so challenging.

He claimed that men are from Mars and women are from Venus and by understanding these differences and adapting your communication style, men and women could have more successful working and personal relationships.

I’ve seen some strong reactions against the idea. Maybe some people fear that a lot of the equal rights and opportunities would be undermined if we admit that men and women are different.

Personally, I think we can be equal without being the same. And…if we ignore the fact that there could be differences this may doom our relationships to failure, as the divorce rate testifies.

Where we’re united is that many men today want and deserve to have a successful career without having to sacrifice a quality home life and many women want and deserve the freedom to have a meaningful career and financial independence without sacrificing a quality home life.

Other people reject the idea that all men are Martian and all women are Venusian because it’s overly generalised.

I’ve certainly seen a useful refinement of the idea that would say that all men and all women have some Venusian and some Martian tendencies or brain wiring and some of us are more Martian while others are more Venusian – like being right or left-handed. This allows for situations where some man tend to be more feminine in their ways, some women tend to be more masculine and some people have a balance of those characteristics.

“A synthesis of Martian and Venusian values is the secret of creativity and progress.” John Gray

So what are considered some characteristics of people from Mars and Venus? Click here to discover what they are and how to deal with them.

How Men and Women Can Relate Better at Work and in Romance

According to John Gray, below are some things to be aware of. Understanding these differences and being more flexible in your communication style can help you to build trust and achieve more in your relationships.

  • Martians and Venusians use the same words in their language but the words have different meanings…so check your understanding.
  • Unless a Martian is asking for help, a Martian is best supported by leaving them to do it all by themselves. Offers of help can be a source of irritation
  • Talking about a problem, on Mars, is an invitation for advice. On Venus, talking about a problem is NOT an invitation to give advice. If you don’t want advice, make that clear.
  • When a Venusian doesn’t advertise their achievements, a Martian often concludes the Venusian has no successes to talk about.
  • Martians assume they should talk about their achievements otherwise they won’t win the job or the Venusian
  • A Martian’s sense of self is defined by the results of their actions
  • A Venusian’s sense of self is defined by the quality of their relationships
  • When Martians get upset, they often need more reasons to become relaxed and objective about an issue
  • When a Venusian gets upset, they often want ‘a good, active listening to’ and to have their feelings understood
  • On Mars, if there’s nothing you can do about a problem there’s no point in talking about it. Whereas a Venusian thinks, ‘At least we can talk about it.’ Talking about it for a Venusian is a bonding experience.
  • Martians generally know what they want to say before they speak. Venusians begin talking and gradually discover what they want to say.
  • Martians expect Venusians to say what they want
  • Venusians expect Martians to guess what they want
  • Martians think Venusians want them to talk all the time because Venusians keep asking them questions. Venusians feel unappreciated when Martians do all the talking
  • In romance, Martians tend to rush too quickly into physical intimacy and Venusians rush too quickly in emotional intimacy
  • A Venusian expects a call soon after a date because they want reassurance. A Martian may delay calling after a date, even if it has gone well, because they don’t want to appear needy

Are you more Martian or Venusian? Are there difficulties in your workplace or your personal relationships which could be resolved by you understanding the Martians or Venusians in your life better and adapting your communication style?

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Dates for Your Diary

1. Free Successful Relationships Coaching Discovery Session

Is having great working and personal relationships with the opposite sex a must for you in 2015? Are challenges in your work and personal relationships holding you back in your career, your business or your personal life and frustrating you?

If your answer is yes check out these this 121 coaching opportunity.

I have 3 Free Coaching Discovery sessions left to give away in February.

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your working and personal relationships and the challenges you face
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about how you’d like your relationships to be.

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet for personal and working relationships.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me and tell me what days/times would suit you: madeleine@growu.co.uk

 2. Accountability Club Business Growth Programme Launching Thursday 5th March

Are you frustrated by the slow growth of your business? Is your business experiencing growing pains? Would you like to make more money and have more fun growing your business? Then the Accountability Club Business Growth Programme could be just what your business needs…there are only 5 places left so hurry and grab the opportunity. Click here for more details

 

Quotes of the Week about Men and Women

“Ladies, let me give you some advice. You can throw all your stupid f…..g chick-lit, self-help, why-doesn't-he-love-me books out, because this is all you need to know: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as "deserving" respect; you get what you demand from people… if you demand respect, he will either respect you or he won't associate with you. It really is that simple.” Tucker Mas

“Wherever you find a great man, you will find a great mother or a great wife standing behind him -- or so they used to say. It would be interesting to know how many great women have had great fathers and husbands behind them.” Dorothy L Sayers

“I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.” Stanley Baldwin

“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."  Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.” Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

“Men and women working together is a great step of progress but it is also a new burden to carry.” John Gray

Useful Links

5Feb/150

How to Have More Self-Esteem and More Love in Your Life: Confidence Tip 102

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKAs February is the month of Valentine’s Day it has got me thinking about love in its broadest sense – whether we call it romance, connection, rapport, understanding, team spirit, appreciation, caring, customer service or…?

So much of our enjoyment in our personal relationships and in our career and business lives depends on how much love we experience. So the theme for my ’60 Seconds to Success Tips’ in February will be love and how to have more of it, in every aspect of your life.

I don’t know about you, but I often feel more love when I give love. And when I give love, often love comes back to me. It’s as if love attracts love.

So what could be examples of giving love?

10 Ways to Have More Love in Your Life

  1. Noticing and expressing gratitude for all the ways your partner supports you. For instance, my hero-husband got up at 5.30 a.m. this morning to clear my car of ice and snow so that I could go to a business breakfast networking meeting in a warm, frost-free car. I made sure he knew that I really appreciated that. He could easily have complained about being woken early and the cold but he didn’t. Nor does he wait until a special occasion to show his love and I am generous with my appreciation for all the ways, big and small, that he helps me. I never take him for granted and so he feels like helping me even more.
  2. Thanking a supplier for their exceptional service – perhaps writing a testimonial for them or recommending them to others. It feels great to make that supplier’s day. They feel good that their efforts have been noticed and rewarded. You’re showing ‘love’ to your contact by ensuring that they get a good supplier too. When I appreciate and help my suppliers, they often help me even more as a result. It’s ‘givers gain’ at work.
  3. You could go out of your way to connect two people in your contact sphere so they can benefit in their business, career or personal life. For instance, introduce your single friends to each other. Perhaps then they’ll see the value of connecting you with others too.
  4. Remembering a client’s birthday or going the extra mile for them
  5. Keeping in touch with relatives and friends even when you’re really busy. We can all be a loving and supportive network for each other…making the world a warmer and more loving place.
  6. Supporting a good cause or doing a good deed for a ‘stranger’.Recently, Katie Cutler took the initiative to raise funds for Alan Barnes when she heard that this gentle, older man had been mugged. She aimed to raise £500 and ended up inspiring hundreds of thousands of pounds in donations. Katie took the initiative to do this loving act and by doing so she inspired many more acts of love and caring. I suspect she’s also receiving a lot of appreciation from others as a result of her good deed, even though that wasn’t in her mind when she decided to do it. Maybe we need to stop thinking of people as ‘strangers’.
  7. Reflecting back to friends, clients, colleagues, and others, their great qualities.
  8. Giving people a good listening to.The kind of listening that’s open, supportive and non-judgemental.
  9. Looking after your health and well-being so that you support yourself and treat yourself in a loving way. Recognise your achievements and let go of self-criticism. It builds your self-esteem and then you also have the energy to keep giving love to others.
  10. Allowing yourself to accept the love and support of others. They grow in self-esteem and resourcefulness by having the chance to help you and you put yourself in a healthy cycle of giving and receiving that strengthens you and your ability to give love.

The list could be endless.

How will you increase the love in your life today and all your days to come?

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKWarm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the Special Offers, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Special Offers and Events

  1. Free Best and Most Loving Year Yet Coaching Discovery Session

I have 4 Free Coaching Discovery Sessions left to give away in February.

During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your personal, career or business life.
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about how you’d like your life to be.

Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me: madeleine@growu.co.uk

 2. The Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop February 12th 2015

It’s tough being a team leader, manager or supervisor. During this one-day Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop, you’ll discover how to overcome the challenges and make your role much easier and rewarding to perform. Click on the linkor email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details.

 3. Accountability Club Business Growth Programme Launching Thursday 5th March

Are you frustrated by the slow growth of your business? Is your business experiencing growing pains? Would you like to make more money and have more fun growing your business? Then the Accountability Club Business Growth Programme could be just what your business needs…there are only 5 places left so hurry and grab the opportunity. Click here for more details

Testimonials

“Very quickly she expanded my thinking way beyond the limits I had set for myself and not only gave me practical step-by-step advice that moved me forward in my career, my business, my personal relationships and my personal development. She also revealed to me the things I was doing in my head that were preventing me from enjoying the success I'd already achieved.

In a very short time, and as a direct result of Madeleine's coaching:

- My confidence soared

- I secured an interview for the job of my dreams

- I got really clear on a part-time business I wanted to build

On top of all this, the process, wisdom and expertise she brought to the coaching allowed me to make changes in myself that deepened my relationship with my girlfriend, improved my interpersonal skills with colleagues at work and most important of all, given me an ongoing realisation that this whole journey is exciting and enjoyable.” Ben Green

"I worked with Madeleine within the Accountability Club with amazing end results. It's amazing what you don't know or do, until you are faced with the questions, options and opportunities that Madeleine with her vast knowledge put before you. She pushed, pulled and tugged at every aspect of my business finding out what could be changed, tweaked, improved and even 'DUMPED' to focus me fully on creating a successful balance in my business and personal life. With Madeleine and the Accountability Club I have improved my strategies in Marketing, lead generation, sales, time management, team management, organisation, cashflow and 'success zone' planning... In a word Madeleine and the Accountability Club are 'AWESOME'. If you have the opportunity to work with Madeleine, JUST DO IT, it'll be one of the best decisions you ever make." Paul Peek

Quotes of the Week

“This fire that we call Loving is too strong for human minds. But just right for human souls.” Aberjhani

“The only thing we should scream into the world is love.” Jill Telford

Useful Links

   
realnet - websites that perform