Building Self Confidence Blog
21Dec/140

How to Create Confident Relationships

Recently I came across a very moving, powerful and inspiring message. And…I thought that you would not only find it uplifting too ribbonsbut that you could also adapt this example to take all your working and personal relationships to a more exciting, fulfilling and joyous level.

Before I share that example with you, I’d like to wish you a very Happy Christmas. I hope that, in 2015, you’ll be able to create all the love, creativity, wealth, happiness, quality time, health, vitality and success that you wish for.

Thank you to my clients for giving me the excitement and joy of working with you.

I admire your courage in stepping up to overcome personal, career and business challenges rather than settling for a lesser life. Your openness to learning new ways of thinking and taking action is awesome. I know that you have become even more inspirational role models to your colleagues, friends, family members and, for some of you, your clients too. You’ve increased your ability to make a positive difference in the world.

Thank you to the readers of these Success Tips and especially those of you who have been kind enough to give me positive feedback.

I hope you’ll continue to let me help you make every year the best year of your life. If you have any ideas for future topics, please let me know.

Whether you’re religious or not, if there’s one message we can take from the Christmas story it’s that one person has the power to make a huge difference in the world.

I came across a really inspiring example of this recently.

How a Thoughtful Message Can Increase Your Self-Esteem and Help Others Develop Confidence 

It’s an encouraging, supportive, appreciative and think-outside-the-box letter written by the head teacher of Barrowford Primary School to her students. This is what it said:

barrow“Please find enclosed your end of KS2 test results. We are very proud of you as you demonstrated huge amounts of commitment and tried your very best during this tricky week.

However, we are concerned that these tests do not always assess all of what it is that make each of you special and unique. The people who create these tests and score them do not know each of you... the way your teachers do, the way I hope to, and certainly not the way your families do.

They do not know that many of you speak two languages. They do not know that you can play a musical instrument or that you can dance or paint a picture.

They do not know that your friends count on you to be there for them or that your laughter can brighten the dreariest day. They do not know that you write poetry or songs, play or participate in sports, wonder about the future, or that sometimes you take care of your little brother or sister after school.

They do not know that you have travelled to a really neat place or that you know how to tell a great story or that you really love spending time with special family members and friends.

They do not know that you can be trustworthy, kind or thoughtful, and that you try, every day, to be your very best... the scores you get will tell you something, but they will not tell you everything.

So enjoy your results and be very proud of these but remember there are many ways of being smart.”

Imagine what a positive effect that letter had on the self-esteem, level of motivation and the happiness of the children who received it.

How would your working and personal relationships with your partner, friends, family, team, clients or employees be transformed if you adapted this idea and created messages as thoughtful, encouraging and uplifting as this with their Christmas card or Christmas bonus?

What if you adapted this idea for other occasions such as birthdays, appraisals, the end of a project, the beginnings of work meetings and wedding anniversaries?

In fact, why wait for a special occasion? How about just being less generous with fault-finding and narrow measures of success and more generous with positive feedback and appreciation?

Let’s play an even bigger part in making the world a warmer, more loving, more appreciative, uplifting, more confident and abundant place to live and work. A place where we bring out the best in people so they don’t feel they have to resort to violence, anger and other negatives ways of getting noticed and getting their other needs met.

Happy Christmas, Joyous New Year and Warm wishes

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Free Gifts, Dates for Your Diary, Quote of the Week, below.

Free Gifts

Dates for Your Diary

  1. December and January:Are you interested in learning more about how you can achieve more personal, career and business success?

I have 1 left of the 10 sessions I having been giving away recently.

During that 60 minute session:

  • We’ll discuss: where you are with your personal, career or business life. We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your success
  • We’ll get clear about how you’d like your life to be.
  • Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap.

You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me: madeleine@growu.co.uk

  1. The Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop February 12th 2015

It’s tough being a team leader, manager or supervisor. During this one-day Successful Managers’ Toolkit workshop, you’ll discover how to overcome the challenges and make your role much easier and rewarding to perform. Click on the link or email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details.

  1. Accountability Club Business Growth Programme Launching Thursday 5th March

Are you frustrated by the slow growth of your business? Is your business experiencing growing pains? Would you like to make more money and have more fun growing your business? Then the Accountability Club Business Growth Programme could be just what your business needs. Click here for more details

Quotes of the Week

“…life is not a multiple choice test, it's an open-book essay exam.

--Alan Blinder (Princeton)

“...institutional assessment efforts should not be concerned about valuing what can be measured but, instead, about measuring that which is valued.” Banta and Lund

“...the geometrician teaches me how to work out the size of my estates rather than how to work out how much a man needs in order to have enough....You geometers can calculate the area of circles, can reduce any given shape to a square, can state the distances separating starts. Nothing's outside your scope when it comes to measurement. Well, if you're such an expert, measure a man's soul; tell me how large or how small that is. You can define a straight line; what use is that to you if you've no idea what straightness means in life?" Seneca, Letters from a Stoic, c4BC-65AD

“Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.” Unknown

16Dec/140

New Year Goal Setting Success Part 3: Confidence Tips 96

 Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UKIt’s tempting to think that because the New Year has happened, that the new you, new career or new business goals will happen too. More than any other time of the year, it feels like the opportunity for a fresh start and a positive beginning.

Yet those New Year Goals rarely happen. So, why is it so difficult for us to make those new personal, career or business goals happen and how can we make sure that our lives are more rewarding in 2015?

Recently, I saw this quotation which sums up the reality. “What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year.” Vern McLellan.

  1. Was your obstacle that you did the same old thing and expected a different result? For example:
  • Did you fill up your life with old activities, relationships, tasks, habits and thoughts etc. and leave very little room for the new and no time to work towards your goals? Remember, what got you to here won’t get you to there.
  • What new actions, activities, thoughts and ways of relating do you need in order to get where you want to go in 2015?
  • For instance, do you need to stop procrastinating, becoming discouraged/depressed, comfort eating, wasting time, fire-fighting, doubting, arguing, giving up, and doing other things that don’t work for you?
  • Do you need to start learning better ways to get to your goals, growing, looking after yourself better, asking curious questions, working smarter rather than harder, promoting yourself better, finding more positive people to mix with, thinking outside the box, etc.?
  1. Was your obstacle that you didn’t have someone to hold you accountable?
    • Promises to ourselves are easy to break…and New Year Resolutions are the easiest to give up on for all the reasons we’ve talked about over the last 3 weeks. J
    • It’s easier to keep to our goals if we commit to them publicly by telling our coach, friends, colleagues, clients and family members what we’re going to do.

Two years ago, I promised all the people on my contact list that I would write a useful 60 Seconds to Success Tip every week. You can see I’ve kept to my goal. I’m now on tip 96.  Whenever I feel like missing a week, I remember that very public commitment and it keeps me writing. Another great thing is that I get really positive feedback from people about the tips.

What could you commit to publicly?

  • Change can be difficult and so you are more likely to succeed with a coach because a coach is skilled at helping you:

i.    stay on track in a supportive and determined way

ii.    overcome obstacles

iii.    make life easier and

iv.    develop new skills, resources and attitudes that make you more successful

So which of the 7 obstacles applied to you and what do you want to change?

Are you interested in making 2015 your best year yet in your personal, career and business life?

If you are, I’d like to offer you a free, confidential ‘Best Year Yet’ Coaching Discovery Session

I have 3 left of the 10 sessions I had to give away in December.  During that 60 minute session, we’ll discuss where you are with your personal, career or business life.

  • We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • We’ll get clear about how you’d like your life to be.
  • Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap.

You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me:madeleine@growu.co.uk

Hurry to book your place because there are only 3 places left and this offer is going to over 1600 people.

 

Madeleine Morgan Life, Career and Business Coaching, Cambridge UK

Warm wishes

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Dates for Your Diary, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Dates for Your Diary

1. The Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop February 12th 2015

It’s tough being a team leader, manager or supervisor. During this one-day Successful Managers’ Toolkit workshop, you’ll discover how to overcome the challenges and make your role much easier and rewarding to perform. Click on the link or email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details.

2.  Accountability Club Business Growth Programme Launching Thursday 5th March

Are you frustrated by the slow growth of your business? Is your business experiencing growing pains? Would you like to make more money and have more fun growing your business? Then the Accountability Club Business Growth Programme could be just what your business needs. Click here for more details

Useful Links

 

Quotes of the Week

“Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction

What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?

What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?

What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose.

The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” Melody Beattie

“For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning." T.S. Eliot

4Dec/140

New Year Goal Setting Success: Confidence Tips 94

ManMadeleine Morgan Career Coach, Executive Coach, Leadership Coach and Business Coach, Cambridgey people I talk to can’t believe how quickly this year has flown by.

When I ask them how they feel about that, the ones I’ve been working with say they are amazed and proud of what they’ve managed to achieve in their personal, career or business lives.

Many of the ones I haven’t been working with feel disappointed, stressed frustrated or worried because:

  • They’re still scrambling on the hamster wheel of life
  • Or this year they’ve been stuck in the same old rut
  • Or things look like they’ve changed for the worse
  • Or they heard the crash of their broken New Year Resolutions in the first few weeks of January 2014
  • Or?

Maybe you can relate to one of those situations.

So why is it so difficult for us to make that new personal, career or business life happen and how can we use New Year goal setting to make sure that our lives are more rewarding in 2015?

In the next 3 success tips, I’m going to share with you 7 obstacles that might have got in your way in 2014 and 7 secrets to overcoming them in 2015.

It’s difficult to create a better year in your personal, career and business life if:

  1. You don’t have SMARTER goals

Goals give your life energy, clarity, direction and power.

“The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” Melody Beattie

Your goals have more power when they are written down and they are:

S = Specific – Say what you want and avoid saying what you don’t want. It’s strange but true that your mind is wired to help you get what you want.

If you say what you don’t want, it gets you that too, because it doesn’t understand ‘not’.

I’ll prove it to you. Notice what comes into your mind when I say, ‘Don’t think of a pair of sunglasses!’

I bet you got a picture in your mind of sunglasses or something like it.

M = Measurable – Instead of ‘I want to be richer’ write down how much you want

to earn and in what ways you want to be richer. After all, if you earned a penny more than last year you’d be richer, technically. But…I bet that wouldn’t satisfy you.

A = Achievable – It’s great to have huge, hairy, audacious goals, just make sure you

set yourself up for success by gathering what you need to succeed e.g. skills,

mind-set, people, technology, a plan etc.

If you have a family or a team include them in some of your goal setting

Recently I recommended this to a business owner I’ve been coaching

and he said his family members have grown closer as a result and they have a

more positive attitude towards his business because they can see how they can

all benefit, rather than viewing the business as a nuisance that takes up too

much of his time away from them.

R = Relevant – Your goals need to be important to you rather than what other

people say you should want.

E = Exciting – It’s easy to give up on dull goals so make sure your goals are

Motivating. Think about all the aspects of your life.

By the end of 2015:

i.    Where do you want to be in your career or business?

ii.    What improvements do you want to make in your relationships

iii.    What do you want your social life to be like?

iv.    What health and fitness goals do you want to achieve

v.    How do you want to develop as a person and in your confidence level?

What personal development do you want to invest in?

vi.    Where do you want to go on holiday and when?

vii.    How do you want your wealth to improve?

viii.    What contribution do you want to make to charity?

R = Reviewed – Map out the steps you need to take to reach your goal and keep

checking to see if you’re on track with your plans.

  1. You have the same old limiting beliefs, thoughts and blockages, e.g.:
    1. I can’t…
    2. I don’t deserve…
    3. It’s selfish to…
    4. Other people should…
    5. It won’t happen
    6. It’s bad to make mistakes
    7. It’s weak to ask for help

It’s irritating, but true, that whatever change we seek, a new job, a new relationship, a new habit, we take ourselves with us. So, if your mind-set isn’t right, you’ll recreate the same old problems and get the same old results.

Make sure you develop a set of empowering beliefs, e.g.:

  1. I’ll find a way
  2. I deserve to…
  3. I can…
  4. It’s wise to ask for help

Did either of those 2 obstacles apply to you?

Are you interested in making 2015 your best year yet in your personal, career and business life?

If you are, I’d like to offer you a free, confidential ‘Best Year Yet’ Coaching Discovery Session

I have 10 sessions to give away in December.  During that 60 minute session, we’ll:

  • discuss where you are with your personal, career or business life.
  • uncover hidden barriers to your success.
  • get clear about how you’d like your life to be.

Then I’ll show you how that gap can be bridged.

You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and confident about making 2015 your best year yet.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me: madeleine@growu.co.uk

Hurry to book your place because there are only 10 places and this offer is going to over 1600 people.

Madeleine Morgan Executive Coach and Leadership Mentor, Cambridge UK 

Warm wishes

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Dates for Your Diary, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Dates for Your Diary

1. December:

Are you interested in learning more about how you can achieve more personal, career and business success?

2. The Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop February 12th 2015

It’s tough being a team leader, manager or supervisor. During this one-day Successful Managers’ Toolkit workshop, you’ll discover how to overcome the challenges and make your role much easier and rewarding to perform. Click on the link or email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details.

Useful Links

 

Quote of the Week

“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” Brad Paisley

   
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