Building Self Confidence Blog
31Oct/140

Are your V and C enough to get you P? Confidence Tip #89

HeBuilding Self Confidence Life Coaching Cambridgere’s your Confidence Tip for this week about how a simple equation can help you in your business or career.

When a manager I was coaching recently was wondering how to manage the expectations of team members who were frustrated because they weren’t getting promoted fast enough, I remembered a very handy equation: V + C = P.

I wish I could claim credit for inventing it but actually I picked it up when I was being trained by a business networking group I belong to called BNI (Business Networks International). This equation has helped thousands of  BNI members in 54 countries to earn billions of pounds in business through referrals.

‘What does it stand for and how can it help me in my business or career?’ I hear you ask.

In the equation V + C = P, V stands for Visibility (how well you’re known and seen), C stands for Credibility (being visible for the right reasons) and P stands for Profitability or, if you have a career, Promotability…and if you’re a leader…Persuasive-ability.

But what does that mean?

In a networking group, new members can’t expect that existing members will immediately have the confidence to refer the new members to their friends, families, clients and colleagues as trusted suppliers of services and products. New members have to win the trust of existing members. This may take some time. How fast it happens depends on how well new members establish their visibility and credibility.

It’s the same when an employee joins an organisation or business. As a new employee, you have to win the trust and confidence of the people working with you, especially your manager, if you want to fast track your career.

If you’re new in a leadership role, establishing you visibility and credibility in the right way will help you to persuade people to follow you more confidently. In our very democratic society you can’t assume people will automatically follow you just because you have a powerful position or title.

So how can you increase your VCP? There are thousands of ways. Here are just 7 ideas:

  • Display a positive and helpful attitude with others – think of others as part of your team
  • Get involved and offer to help – look to give first rather than gain first
  • Network with potential referral partners, movers and shakers and others with whom you can have a mutually beneficial relationship
  • Do what you say you’re going to do and keep your side of the bargain
  • Look for win-win ways for everyone who is involved with you to profit by your wisdom, contacts, positive attitude and other skills and resources. And…for you to profit by theirs.
  • Share your knowledge, experience and useful ideas in meetings, in a blog, on LinkedIn, in your company’s Knowledge Base, on YouTube, in a book you publish etc. This will help you be seen as an expert and ‘go-to’ person.
  • Learn more so you can grow, become even more resourceful and add even more value.

Free 1-2-1 VCP Coaching Discovery Session

Is your VCP scarily low? Would you like to create more fireworks in your business or career? If your answer is yes, the free VCP Coaching Discovery Session below could be for you.

If you’ve never been coached before and you’d like more ideas about how to increase your VCP in your business or your leadership role or your career, I’ve got 4 spaces in November for free 1-2-1 VCP Coaching Discovery Sessions.

This is where we discuss where you are in your business or career and where you’d like to be and work out how you can become more Profitable or Promotable or Persuasive.


Madeleine
Madeleine Morgan Life Coach and Confidence Coach CambridgeWarm wishes

 

P.S. Check out the Event News, Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Events News

1.  Accountability Club Business Growth Programme Launching Wednesday 5th November (only 2 places left)
Are you frustrated by the slow growth of your business? Is your business experiencing growing pains? Would you like to make more money and have more fun growing your business? Then the Accountability Club Business Growth Programme could be just what your business needs. Click here for more details

2. Cool Solutions to Hot HR Topics Seminar Series November 20th, 2014

Are you an HR professional or a manager or business owner with HR responsibilities?

Dealing with HR can be a minefield. However, help is at hand. Hoopla HR and GrowU Coaching and Training are collaborating to make dealing with people issues easier.

Click on this link or phone Madeleine at 01223 426392 for more details.

3.  Business Network International Granta Cambridge Visitors’ Day November 25th, 2014

 If you own a business or are employed to promote one join us on Tuesday 25th November to discover how BNI can help you gain more business through referrals.

Email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details or phone 01223 426392

www.BNISuffolkandCambridge.co.uk

4.  The Successful Managers’ Toolkit Workshop February 12th 2015

It’s tough being a team leader, manager or supervisor. During this one-day Successful Managers’ Toolkit workshop, you’ll discover how to overcome the challenges and make your role much easier and rewarding to perform. Click on the link or email madeleine@growu.co.uk for more details.

Useful Links

 

Quote of the Week

“The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.” Martial Arts maxim

24Oct/140

How Do You Choose the Right People? Confidence Tip #89

Here’s your 60 Second Success Tip for this week.

Coaching and Training for ManagersA thing my clients regularly find challenging is other people.

It seems so difficult to find the right employees, life partner, friends and colleagues.

Getting it wrong can lead to huge amounts of frustration, hurt, anger, sadness and even lost time and money…as any employer or divorcee will tell you.

Getting it right can make your life wealthier emotionally, mentally and materially.

So how can we increase our chances of finding the right people for our work and personal relationships?

You need to get creative.

It has to start with being clear about the kind of people you want in your life or business team. Then you need to devise a process to attract them and filter them out from the other applicants.

Let’s take a business example.

As an employer or manager it can be all too easy to be blinded by a candidate’s skills, experience and great performance at a conventional interview into recruiting someone who is a pain to work with. Or choose someone just like you so that you have the same strengths...and weaknesses…and end up with skills and personality gaps in your team.

For instance, South West Airlines wanted to recruit flight attendants who would deliver excellent customer service by being attentive to the needs of their passengers. They devised a clever plan to spot the right recruits. They asked the candidates to give a presentation. But…they weren’t testing the presentation skills of each of the presenters, they were testing how supportive and attentive the candidates in the audience were! What a great way to discover what the candidates were really like.

A client of mine a few months ago was complaining about how inflexible a team member was about working hours despite promising the earth at his interview. He was never available to work overtime or unsociable shifts. As flexibility is crucial to the business, I suggested that the employer run interviews for job candidates at unusual hours such as 7 a.m. in the morning rather than later in the day. This could be one of the elements that would help to weed out the applicants who really only wanted to work regular hours.

Avoid self-sabotage. If you want employees that use their initiative, avoid writing stuffy job adverts and job descriptions. Include tests of initiative in your recruitment process.

Next week, I’ll talk about choosing the right people in our personal lives (without being blinded by looks and charisma).

 

Madeleine Morgan Executive Coach and Leadership Mentor, Cambridge UKWarm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Useful Links

Quote of the Week

‘Problems can become opportunities when the right people come together.’ Robert South

9Oct/140

How Assertive Are You? Take the Quiz. Confidence Tip #87

Here’s your Confidence Tip for this week.

Sconfidenceometimes it’s difficult to know if you’re being aggressive or just direct and honest, passive or just non-confrontational, encouraging and tactful. How do you know if you’re steering that middle assertive line?

Here’s a quiz to give you some idea.

1. When your manager disagrees with your opinion do you:

a.  Set about convincing them they’re wrong with all the facts at your disposal?
b.  Find out more about their thinking first?
c.  Avoid confrontation and give way quickly even when you’ve got some valid opinions?

2. When you give feedback to colleagues about their work do you:

a.  Point out everything that’s wrong with it in a critical tone of voice?
b.  Give balanced feedback – saying what’s right with it as well as what could be improved?
c.  Give only praise and avoid mentioning elements that could be improved?

3. When your partner, friend, family member or colleague does something you don’t like do you:

a.  Criticise them?
b.  Learn ways to have an understanding and open conversation that leads to a win-win solution?
c.  Avoid talking to them about it and complain to someone else about them?

4. When you feel you’ve been given too much work to do, do you:

a.  Immediately complain about it to the person who is giving you the work?
b.  Find out more e.g. whether you could manage your time better, delegate it to others, or check whether the person realises what your workload is like in a reasonable way?
c.  Just accept the extra work and work late to get it done

5. When it’s time to choose where the family goes on holiday do you:

a.  Insist on your choice and try to prove everyone else’s choice is wrong?
b.  Creatively find a choice that enables everyone to get what they want?
c.  Avoid an argument by giving in to everyone else’s choice?

6. When the people you manage or family members bring you their problems do you:

a.  Tell them to go and work it out for themselves
b.  Coach them so that they become more resourceful at solving problems?
c.  Leap in with suggestions and help and take most of the responsibility for solving their problems?

7. When someone is angry with you, shouts and criticises, do you:

a.  Shout and criticise back?
b.  Find out more about what has upset them and if more mutual understanding is possible or helpful first?
c.  Cry, sulk, walk out, complain about them in your head and find someone to sympathise with you?

What do your scores tell you? Here are some thoughts.

If you scored mostly ‘a’you have a more aggressive way of relating to people, especially when you’re in conflict A person needs to be a very confident, mature and assertive family member, friend, colleague or client to get the best out of you.  People may find you difficult to reason with. They might avoid telling you things you really need to know for fear of upsetting you. You may appear immature or overbearing – this can limit your success in personal and working relationships. If they’re passive by nature they’re likely to avoid you or put up with you until they can walk out on you.

Aggressive behaviour is often learned from poor role models when we were younger and difficult life circumstances. It is sometimes a symptom of a fear that others will walk all over you if you take a more understanding approach. Strangely, aggressive people often say they fear confrontation.

Coaching and training can help you develop an assertive style that will help you get the best out of yourself and others. By learning how to look after your own interests in an assertive rather than aggressive way you will increase your personal and work success.

If you scored mostly ‘c, you have a more passive way of relating to people. Some people will like the fact that you give in to their needs, opinions and wants so easily…but you may grow to resent them for letting you do that. More aggressive people are likely to underestimate your talents and advice, disregard your needs and are likely to over-look you at work.

If you have a ‘passive-aggressive’ tendency to walk out, sulk and complain to others about how you’re treated, people find that frustrating unless they have the assertive skillset to bring out the best in you.

Passive behaviour is often learned from poor role models when we were younger and difficult life circumstances. Fear of confrontation, getting things wrong and making things worse are often motives behind passive behaviour.

Coaching and training can help you develop a more assertive style that will help you get the best out of yourself and others and increase your personal and work success.

If you’ve scored mostly ‘b’, you have an assertive style. You are likely to enjoy positive working and personal relationships. People respect you because you bring out the best in them while leading a fulfilled and rewarding life. You tend to find creative, win-win ways to solve problems and conflict. You are more curious than judgemental. You take responsibility for your part in creating problems and you hold yourself accountable for putting things right.

You are constantly looking to learn, improve and make a positive contribution.

If you’d like more assertiveness tips, this Assertiveness Workshop being held in Cambridge on Thursday 23rd October could be just what you’re looking for. Click on the link for details.

There are only 3 out of a total of 6 places left, so hurry and book your slot. :)

Madeleine Morgan Life Coach and Confidence Coach CambridgeWarm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Useful Links

 

Quote of the Week

“You have the right to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty.” Manuel J Smith

Testimonial

"Madeleine helped me to develop personally which in turn benefitted my career and management skills. She individually tailored each session to my needs, this was incredibly helpful in gaining confidence and exploring ways of challenging my belief systems. Her support enabled me to be more curious and allowed me learn how to challenge in a mutually beneficial way to other managers and colleagues." Harriet Lovegrove

 

2Oct/140

What Do You Do When They Get On Your Nerves? 60 Seconds to Success Tip #86

Here’s your 60 Second Success Tip for this week.

Success Tips for ManagersDo you ever wish you had a smart put-down or witty repost for those irritating, disruptive and unhelpful comments family members and colleagues make sometimes?

A recent news item on the BBC about teachers and keeping a lid on low-level indiscipline reminded me of a challenge a newly appointed manager brought to his coaching session a while ago.

He told me about one member of his team who would come up with disruptive comments in meetings when they were trying to brainstorm solutions.

His comments would get a laugh and lead some other team members to follow suit. My client would feel a rising tide of anger as he felt his authority being threatened and the effectiveness of the meeting ebbing away.

He felt paralysed because he knew that if he reacted in an irritable and aggressive way it would probably cause more problems and anyway, he wanted to be cleverer than that. On the other hand, he didn’t want to sulk childishly or let it go in a passive kind of way either because he would just look and feel weak.

We explored some ways the manager could keep calm in difficult situations like this.

We also speculated what might be behind the ‘disruptive’ behaviour and how the manager might deal with the person on a one-to-one basis to influence the team member to make a more mature contribution in future.

Then we came up with a simple, curious yet assertive question the manager could keep up his sleeve if the situation happened again.

Sure enough, the day after our session, the team member contributed to a meeting in an immature way. The manager was ready for him. He asked, with his most curious body language and voice tones, ‘How was that comment helpful to the discussion?’

The team member was lost for words and has contributed positively to meetings ever since

If you’d like more assertiveness tips, this Assertiveness Workshop being held in Cambridge on Thursday 23rdOctober could be just what you’re looking for. Click on the link for details. www.successformanagers.co.uk/the-successful-managers-assertiveness-toolbox/

There are just 4 places left, so hurry and book your slot. :)

Madeleine Morgan Executive Coach and Leadership Mentor, Cambridge UKWarm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Useful Links

 

Quote of the Week

“You have the right to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty.” Manuel J Smith

Testimonial

“Madeleine helped me to develop personally which in turn benefitted my career and management skills. She individually tailored each session to my needs, this was incredibly helpful in gaining confidence and exploring ways of challenging my belief systems. Her support enabled me to be more curious and allowed me learn how to challenge in a mutually beneficial way to other managers and colleagues.” Harriet Lovegrove

   
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