Building Self Confidence Blog
30Jul/140

I’m right, they’re wrong! Confidence Tips #78

Building Self Confidence Life Coaching CambridgeHere’s your Confidence Tip for this week and an amazing couple of opportunities.

The other day, my family was puzzling over who said, “All property is theft” …as you do! Actually it was relevant to a talk my 13 year old nephew had to present.

In my memory banks it was Karl Marx. I was sooo certain. Doesn’t it sound just like something he would say?

Well…another family member was equally certain that it was Proudhon. Luckily, in these days of the internet, that was a quick dispute to settle.

When you hear the terrible things going on in the news these days, wouldn’t it be great if bigger and more serious disputes were that easy to resolve?

We don’t even have to go that far afield. One of the things that I’m constantly helping my clients to deal with is conflict in work and personal relationships.

Why is it so easy to argue? Well one reason is that we don’t see the whole picture.

Imagine a beach ball with 6 different colour stripes. Think of it hovering between you and the other person. From your side it’s obviously yellow, green and orange…but…remember…from the other person’s point of view it’s red, white and blue.

Who’s right? Both of you, of course!

Now that may not always be the case but it’s worth finding out…isn’t it?

Your Action This Week

If you find yourself in an argument this week. Find out a bit more about how they’re seeing things. What makes them think the way they do?

Want to discover more? Try this:
How to Deal With Difficult Conversations and Behaviour Assertively Workshop Thursday 14th August 2014, Cambridge, 8.45 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Are you:

  • Avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work?
  • Or maybe you have employees and team members who are difficult to manage?

Then this half-day workshop for professionals, managers, owner managers and aspiring managers about how to remain assertive and in control of difficult people situations is for you. Click here for more details

       “The Dealing with Difficult Conversations Assertively course was very helpful and has opened     

        my  eyes to using different approaches towards staff and myself.”

        Louise Hounsome, Manager, Cambridgeshire

Or this: 1-2-1 Complimentary Win-Win Relationship Coaching Discovery Session

Do you feel that there are some work or personal relationships you need to tackle but you’re not sure how? Are you feeling frustrated because you’ve tried everything you can think of to change them?

I have 2 complimentary spaces for 1-2-1 Win-Win Coaching Discovery Sessions this month. During that session, we’ll discuss where you are with your working or personal relationships. We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your success. We’ll get clear about how you’d like your relationships to be. Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and certain about your next steps.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me:madeleine@growu.co.uk

 

Madeleine Morgan Executive Coach and Leadership Mentor, Cambridge UKWarm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

 

Useful Links

Quote of the Week

“For good ideas and true innovation you need human interaction, confilct, argument and debate” Margaret Heffernan

“Peace is not the absence of conflict. It’s the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” Ronald Reagan

 

23Jul/140

What can you do when you’re tackled? Confidence Tips #77

Building Self Confidence Life Coaching CambridgeThe other day, a friend and keen rugby enthusiast was telling me about a clever tactic employed by a Fijian rugby player. I thought it would translate really well to other life challenges.

My friend was involved in arranging a charity rugby match between two amateur teams. An experienced Fijian player happened to be in the UK at the time and as he was friendly with one of the team members he was asked to play for them. He was very happy to agree to be involved in such a good cause.

My friend was curious about how this Fijian player managed to play so much better than everyone else. So he observed the Fijian closely throughout the match.

One tactic that caught my friend’s eye was how the Fijian dealt with being tackled.

He noticed that most players in that situation toughed it out and met resistance with resistance. They got so tangled up with the other players that they often lost the ball…but the Fijian didn’t.

No, he relaxed his body momentarily and it bought him fractions of a second to do something constructive with the ball – for instance, throw it to another team member who had some space to run with it.

Your Action This Week

How does this relate to everyday life? Well, if you’re verbally tackled this week by a colleague, client, friend or family member, instead of tackling them back, take a moment to relax and move into your next constructive step.

Want to discover more? Try this:
How to Deal With Difficult Conversations and Behaviour Assertively Workshop Thursday 14th August 2014, Cambridge, 8.45 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Are you:

  • Avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work?
  • Or maybe you have employees and team members who are difficult to manage?

Then this half-day workshop for professionals, managers, owner managers and aspiring managers about how to remain assertive and in control of difficult people situations is for you. Click here for more details      

       “The Dealing with Difficult Conversations Assertively course was very helpful and has opened my   

       eyes to using different approaches towards staff and myself.” Louise Hounsome, Manager,

       Cambridgeshire 

Or this: 1-2-1 Complimentary Win-Win Relationship Coaching Discovery Session

Do you feel that there are some work or personal relationships you need to tackle but you’re not sure how? Are you feeling frustrated because you’ve tried everything you can think of to change them?

I have 2 complimentary spaces for 1-2-1 Win-Win Coaching Discovery Sessions this month. During that session, we’ll discuss where you are with your working or personal relationships. We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your success. We’ll get clear about how you’d like your relationships to be. Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and certain about your next steps.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me:madeleine@growu.co.uk

Madeleine Morgan Life Coach and Confidence Coach CambridgeWarm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

 

Useful Links

Quotes of the Week

"If you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are." John W. Gardner

            "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to." - Unknown

17Jul/140

Could this Attitude Crash Your…? Confidence Tips #76

confidence

Investigations into the cause of some airplane crashes have revealed that a ‘command and control’ culture existed among pilots in a number of incidents. Research shows that either danger warnings and concerns expressed by junior pilots were ignored or junior pilots didn’t think it was their place to express them.

This raised important questions like, ‘Could this culture be a factor in causing crashes?The answer was, ‘Yes’.

What has this got to do with everyday life, I hear you ask?

Well, it’s possible to find yourself in a ‘Command and Control’ relationship in all walks of life politics, manager/team relationships, teacher/student relationships, celebrity/fan relationships, client/supplier relationships, friendships, marriages, parent/child relationships and other family relationships, etc.

Curiously, It isn’t always the one who has the senior title who is in command.

And…’command and control’ relationships can sometimes be created by the ‘junior’ partner giving away their power to be assertive rather than by the ‘senior’ partner being overly aggressive and domineering.

So, how do you know when you’re in a ‘Command and Control’ relationship?

Some signs are when one person in the relationship:

  • is too embarrassed to speak up even when they have a better idea or more knowledge
  • avoids saying something for fear of upsetting the other
  • frequently insists on making decisions without consultating the other
  • ignores the legitimate needs, wants and desires of the other

Any of those behaviours could cause your relationships to crash and burn, along with the nation, your business, your organisation, your career, your family or your life. There are various reasons for this. A couple of examples are because:

  • the one in command can lose touch with reality and make very bad decisions
  • the ‘junior’ partner grows to resent the relationship, becomes blind to their part in creating it and gives up

Your Action for This Week

So what can you do to change a ‘command and control’ relationship into a ‘win-win’ relationship? Here are a couple of ideas:

  • whether you are the commanding one or the passive one, you are trying to control the situation for some reason…to meet some need. Find out what that reason is.
  • find better ways to get those needs met

Want to discover more? Try this:
How to Deal With Difficult Conversations and Behaviour Assertively Workshop Thursday 14th August 2014, Cambridge, 8.45 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Are you:

  • Avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work?
  • Or maybe you have employees and team members who are difficult to manage?

Then this half-day workshop for professionals, managers, owner managers and aspiring managers about how to remain assertive and in control of difficult people situations is for you. Click here for more details

“One of the most powerful lessons I learnt, is how to deal with difficult people – an invaluable seminar run by Madeleine. This was thought provoking, structured and fun!” Aegean Thomson, Business Owner

Or this: 1-2-1 Complimentary Win-Win Relationship Coaching Discovery Session

Do you feel that some of your relationships have a command and control quality to them? Are you feeling frustrated because you’ve tried everything you can think of to change them?  I have 2 complimentary spaces for 1-2-1 Win-Win Coaching Discovery Sessions this month. During that session, we’ll discuss where you are with your working or personal relationships. We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your success. We’ll get clear about how you’d like your relationships to be. Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and certain about your next steps.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me: madeleine@growu.co.uk
Madeleine Morgan Life Coach and Confidence Coach Cambridge

Warm wishes

Madeleine

 

P.S. Check out the ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ and Quote of the Week listed below.

Useful Links

Quotes of the Week

  • “When you talk, there's often a lot of stuff that doesn’t get said!” Madeleine Morgan
  • “Just because you’re making a noise in my direction, don’t assume you’re communicating with me.” David Gordon

 

8Jul/140

Do you let these Time Stealers into your life? Confidence Tip #74

Building Self Confidence Life Coaching CambridgeTake a few moments…it will be worth it… to rate how good you are at letting these Time Stealers into your life.

For each one, give yourself a score out of 10.

A score of 10 means you are very good at it and 1 means you hardly ever give them room in your life.

  • Unnecessary Interruptions
  • Perfectionism
  • Meetings Without Agendas
  • Tasks Someone Else Should Do
  • Procrastination and Indecision
  • Acting Without Enough Information
  • Other People’s Problems
  • Unclear Communication
  • Unclear Objectives and Priorities
  • Lack of Planning
  • Stress, Anxiety and Fatigue
  • Inability to say "No" to Requests
  • Personal Disorganization

If you are perfect at giving these Time Stealers room in your life you’d score 130. How did you do?

Your Action This Week

Take an honest look at how you give away your time. Focus on changing one limiting Time Management habit and discover how much more productive you can be.

If you’d like some creative ideas for getting rid of Time Stealers, try this workshop or this coaching opportunity. Just click on the links below:

Click on these workshop and coaching investments:

Madeleine Morgan Life Coach and Confidence Coach CambridgeWarm wishes

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Useful Links

Quote of the Week

  • “The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.Stephen R. Covey
1Jul/140

I’ve Met the Enemy and It’s…: Confidence Tips #73

Building Self Confidence Life Coaching CambridgeThe other day I helped a client solve a very stressful, time consuming and frustrating issue very quickly. He was really delighted as this issue had been bugging him for years.

As a result of our work he began to enjoy working with his colleagues for the first time...ever. It also helped him to focus his energies and creativity on making his business far more successful and profitable.

Because my work is confidential, he called me his ‘secret weapon’.

His war-like metaphor got me asking myself, ‘Is there an enemy, then?’

When you’re struggling it can seem like there is an enemy, can’t it?

Have you ever heard yourself say things like:

  • “Time’s against me!” or
  • “‘They’ are being so difficult!”

But…what’s the truth?

Well, let’s take a look at time management, for instance.

When Time feels like it’s against us, what’s the cause? Who is it that:

  • Sets unrealistic goals?
  • Lacks focus and gets distracted easily?
  • Can’t say ‘No’ and over commits?
  • Finds it difficult to delegate?
  • Procrastinates or Perfects?

The hard truth is…it’s us! Uh oh, we’re the enemy! So… time management is really about self management, then.

But…that’s good news really, because we have a lot more control over ourselves than we do over other people and abstract ‘things’.

Your Action This Week

Take an honest look at where you’re your own worst enemy in your personal, career or business life. Focus on changing one self-defeating habit.

If it feels like Time is your enemy and you’d like a not-so-secret weapon to help you, try this workshop or this coaching opportunity. Just click on the links below:

Click on these workshop and coaching investments:

Madeleine Morgan Life Coach and Confidence Coach CambridgeWarm wishes

Madeleine

P.S. Check out the Quote of the Week, ‘Useful Links’ to life changing free ‘stuff’ below.

Useful Links

Quote of the Week

‘The essence of self-discipline is to do the important thing rather than the urgent thing.’ Barry Werner

   
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