Building Self Confidence Blog

Are you Living in a Parallel Universe? Confidence Tips #43

‘What in the galaxy is living in a parallel universe? I hear you ask. :)

It has nothing to do with the Dr. Who anniversary celebrations nor is it a concept lectured on by Brian Cox, BBC’s favourite TV professor.

Well… it might be that as well but I’m talking about something different.

Sixteen years ago, I realised that I was living in a parallel universe.

I was taking a psychology course and the course leader asked me what I wanted to do with what I was learning. I told her that I wanted to leave my job in the Middle East, come back to the UK and set up a coaching and training business. I talked with great passion about my dream to help people get all the good things they wanted in their lives, careers and businesses and to create great working and personal relationships. She asked me when I’d get started on this new career and I couldn’t tell her. The thought of putting a definite date on leaving a very interesting job and an adventurous lifestyle to start a business from scratch was scary. I knew my job in the Middle East wouldn’t last forever yet, like many people, I was unconsciously waiting to be pushed.


How to Deal with Conflict: Confidence Tip #42

I was struck by a snippet of a statement I caught when listening to a programme on BBC Radio 4. The item was about a peace initiative relating to the Palestinian/Israeli conflict.

The interviewer asked the interviewee what she thought people in this country could do to help. The woman replied, ‘Don’t take sides. When you take sides you just export the conflict to a new place.’


How to Deal with Stress: Confidence Tip #41

A life without pressure could be very boring so when does pressure turn into stress and why does it matter?

Stress is a harmful response in reaction to too much (or too little) pressure. You’ve only got to look at some of the signs and symptoms of stress listed below to realise why it’s important to de-stress rather than dis-stress.

Because today (5th November 2013) is National Stress Awareness Day I thought it would be helpful to share with you some stress busting secrets.


Confidence Tip #40

Have you ever wished that you could read someone’s mind?

Wouldn’t it make business and personal relationships easier if we knew what people were really thinking?

Maybe and maybe not.

I wonder if we would have to develop thicker skins if we were exposed to other people’s unvarnished truth about us.  :)

What if, when a potential perfect

  • client
  • employer
  • networking contact
  • friend or
  • date

asks you “What do you do?”

Wouldn’t it be helpful to know exactly want they need to hear?

Well - this kind of mind reading is much simpler than you think.

They want to hear about themselves!

And when they ask, “What do you do?” they really have another question in mind.

A question that may seem somewhat harsh and pragmatic.

The REAL question-behind-the-question is: “Do I need or want to know you?”

So, rather than saying what you do, tell them about the after effects of what you do.

For example, I remember coaching a man who wrote code for software. He was keen to find a girlfriend but he was frustrated that his job sounded so boring. When I asked him some more questions, I discovered that a project he was really proud of was code he had written for a game to make it easier for handicapped children to learn. I can imagine that if he met one of the many women for whom making a positive difference in the world is really important, they would be attracted by that and want to know more.

If your CV is a rather mechanical list of roles and tasks, turn it into an interview-winning account of achievements.

And…if you’re a business owner, such as an accountant, change your answer from ‘an accountant’ to ‘You know how difficult it can be for business owners to find time for the accounts? Sometimes they go out of business unexpectedly because they’ve lost sight of their cashflow. Well, I help business owners enjoy peace of mind by helping them keep financial control of their business and make more profit’.

Next time someone asks you ‘What do you do?’ what will your interest-grabbing answer be?

Madeleine Morgan Executive Coach and Leadership MentorWarm wishes
Madeleine (One who helps people create the work and personal lives they really want  :))

P.S. Check out the ‘Useful Links’ and ‘Special Events’ listed below.

Useful Links

Special Events:

Getting to Grips with Dealing with Difficult Conversations at Work, Workshop,
8.45 a.m. – 12.30 November 14th, Cambridge. Early bird price £99

Are you avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work? Or maybe there’s a person who is valuable to your company in some ways but who is producing   difficult ‘side effects’ that could hold back your business? Then this course is of direct use to you as a professional, manager or business owner who has to manage difficult behaviour or have difficult conversations in the regular course of your work. You’ll have a chance to get to grips with tools and techniques during the course that you can practise and then use to transform difficult behaviours and conversations into positive ones.

During this workshop we will get to grips with:

• how to get difficult team members to behave like adults and take responsibility for their actions
• how to manage a difficult conversation from relaxed beginning to constructive outcome
• how to deal with the  negative ‘control games’ that people play when you try to resolve issues
• understanding  your choices when dealing with difficult behaviour and expanding your ‘tool box’ of options
• how to stay assertively in control of unexpected difficult people situations
• how to effectively negotiate win-win outcomes with ‘difficult’ people

Email  for more information or to book your place (maximum of 6 places available

1-2-1 Complimentary Coaching Discovery Session

If you could change one thing in your personal, career or business life, what would it be? I have 2 complimentary spaces for 1-2-1 Discovery Sessions this month. During that session, we’ll discuss where you are in your business, career or personal life. We’ll uncover hidden barriers to your success. We’ll get clear on how you’d like your life to be. Then I’ll show you how you can bridge that gap. You’ll go away feeling positive, excited and certain about your next steps.

If you would like to apply for a session, just email me:


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